Unlimited Movie Theater Pass Sounds About As Good As An Unlimited Zipline Pass

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Source– What is the sweet spot for getting people to join a movie theater ticket subscription service? For six years, MoviePass has struggled to answer that question and now, under former Netflix exec Mitch Lowe, it’s introducing a radical plan: Selling customers data and charging $10 a month for all the silver screen action you can fit into your life.

Today, Lowe announced that MoviePass will allow subscribers to see one showing a day of a film at any theater that accepts debit card payment for just $9.95 a month. The only restrictions that have been announced so far are that 3D and Imax films are off limits. I’d tell you if any terms of service have changed on the MoviePass website but it’s apparently getting crushed with traffic at the moment and won’t load.

 

MoviePass has been through several pricing and accessibility models over the years. It’s typically offered a list of theater partners, restrictions on new releases, limited advance purchasing, and prices ranging from $30 to $50 per month. It pays theaters full price for tickets and has sought to monetize by betting that people wouldn’t use the subscription enough each month to warrant the price. In 2016, Lowe was brought in as CEO based on his history as a co-founder of Netflix and his stewardship of Redbox kiosk rentals.

First off, I consider myself a pretty big movie guy and I like to try to watch a new movie at night before I go to bed. It’s one of the most incredible feelings to find a movie you either have been wanting to watch or a random movie you’ve never heard of and just fucking marinate for a solid hour and a half/ two hours. I used to be a reader, kinda, but the whole point of reading is being able to picture the story in your head as you follow the book. MOVIES DO THAT FOR YOU. Why waste brain power trying to picture what the characters look like when you can literally just watch them and see what they are supposed to look like. And finding a movie that keeps you guessing or just keeps you enthralled for the entire time is an amazing experience. 

Anyways… back to the subject at hand, this MoviePass company just got a new CEO in the form of former Netflix executive Mitch Lowe. Ingeniously he came up with this new, revolutionary idea to charge $10 a month for a service. I dont know where his inspiratoin came from but this thing just might pan out for him! ON THE OTHER HAND, the movie theater business is a dying business. Charging $10 a month for an unlimited movie pass (minus 3D and IMAX movies…kinda bullshit) is an interesting move. I assume that with the rise of streaming services the theater business is on a slight decline and this is a good effort to gain some traction. Pretty sure a movie ticket was like 12 bucks last time I went, which I seriously cannot remember when that was, but they are telling me I can get a whole month of free movies for just $10?! Less than the price of a single ticket?! Only one problem… I can’t remember the last time I went to the movie. Either I just don’t have the time to go or I don’t even think about going but the fact remains I don’t go. Maybe I’m a single case but i really don’t think so. Ill wait a couple weeks for a movie to come out or ill find it on Kodi (if you dont know Kodi your missing out).  So kudos to this guy for leaving (or getting fired from, not sure what happened) from Netflix and moving to the movie theater market. A market that is on its last leg and is desperate, desperate enough to try the pricing model that their future competitor is using. Soon Netlfix and Hulu will be able to stream brand new movies and put an end to the movie theater industry as a whole so make your moves and attempt to make some money while you can cause the clock is ticking on your business. -( . )

Is Google racist? The answer is yes.

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As any good American does, I was taking my lack of knowledge to Google to see if I could find the female comedian that I couldn’t put a name to. I knew she was white so as any good googler would do I started with a simple search for “white female comedians”. Imagine the fucking awe I experienced when I was only returned with 2 names in the quick search thingy (shown above). Ellen DeGeneres and fucking Laraine Newman. Only 2 white, female comedians in the world according to the globe’s leading search engine. Now with me being curious like a cat ( I have a couple of friends that call me whiskers; h/t Harry Caray) I obviously had to check the other side of the spectrum and google “black female comedians”. Take a guess how many it showed me in the top bar. Go ahead, I’ll wait………………over 25 women fucking showed up… don’t believe me just watch.

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How is that possible?! I can think of more white comedians than the ones they have listed and I’ve never even seen some of the people they have listed as African American comedians. Maybe Google is out here trying to compensate to show they aren’t racist towards African Americans but damn, you could at least update the white females page from fucking 2005. Like not even Amy Schumer is on there? She’s THE white female comedian right now and she doesn’t even get a mention? That is some BULLSHIT. Get your shit together Google. I ended up finding who I was looking for (it was Natasha Leggero) but I had to actually go into the first webpage, wasting my expensive fucking data and my precious time, when she could have appeared in the top 30 quick results. Julia-Louis Dreyfus, Anna Chlumsky, Lena Dunham, Samantha Bee, Ilana Glazer, Amy Poehler, Kristen Schaal, Ellie Kemper, NOT EVEN FUCKING SARAH SILVERMAN. Simply no excuse for this multi-billion dollar company to turn a blind eye to some of their algorithms or whatever the fuck kind of sorcery powers these things. I demand justice for those white female comedians that are robbed of the opportunity to tell everyone that the Google lords deem them white female comedians. If not met with swift and appropriate corrections there will be an uprising, I can already see it forming with the way America reacts and protests. Unlike most other protests though, you can catch me leading the charge with my “Fuck Google, Where’s Lougle?” signs in hand. -( . )

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Eminem proves you can do anything if you just believe

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Eminem has worked his entire life for this moment. He has officially had a word entered in the Oxford dictionary because of a song he wrote. “Stan”, from his song “Stan”, about an obsessed fan named Stan has been given an exact definition and solidified in the ink of the dictionary. Now I’m gonna be honest, I’ve never actually said this or even had it said to me so maybe bigger cities use it more but this came way out of left field for me. Now that I’m aware doe….imma be a stan of everything I used to be a fan for. I stan for the Packers (Go Pack Go), I stan for water,  fuck being a fan, thats pussy shit. Through his entire career, Eminem has won numerous Grammys, Globes, academys, blowjobs, etc but I truly think that this is what he has been aiming for his entire career. Its no secret that he used to just read the dictionary as a young wanna-be rapper to expand his vocabulary and while reading that dictionary he probably made a mission for himself to someday be in the very book he is reading. And now he’s done it, King Em, all hail.  So now that this is actually a word I am all in on it and you should be too.

Be a stan, not a fan. -( . )

Started from the Bottom

As you entered this world you nuzzled up to your momma’s supple breasts and you sucked with all your might to get that milk, that fuel, that helped you grow into the strapping fucking lad I’m sure you are. And now with Straight From The Tit we hope to fuel your day with posts that make you wait till the last second to close your screen as your Lumberg strolls by the ol’ cube.

-( . )

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