The Long Con: The Story of Jon Gruden

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Reports are circulating that Jon Gruden is looking/considering getting back into the coaching game. According to ProFootballTalk he is quoted as saying “I’ve met with several people — I won’t deny that, just about every year I talk about coming back to coach. I’m not in here every day at 4:30 or 4:00 in the morning watching pinball, you know? I’m preparing myself to come back. I am. Every day. I’m preparing to come back.”This doesnt really give clarity to what his future plans are or if he has been trying to get back in the league for years perhaps but hasnt able to attract the attention of any coaching staffs?. If i am a football owner or gm and I see these reports coming out I am immediately contacting J. Grud. All of this press/media shit he has done the last couple of years has literally just been building him up for a coaching comeback. His”Gruden Grinders” let everyone know that he has that eye for a player that will work hard and grind his way to a starting spot. Recruiting coordinator. Check. He does his QB camps where he literally spends hours going over game film of on-the-come-up qb’s and then has the opportunity to talk and critique these young up-and-coming quarterbacks. Basically, build a rapport with these quarterbacks and telling them how to be successful. QB coach/ QB recruiter. Check. I mean this man has already been a head coach for 2 teams and brought back a USper Bowl Championship so i think we can safely assume he has somewhat of an idea on how to run a successful team but these post-coaching activities still can serve as a great tool to assist an already intimdiating coach. Im just here giving a stay woke alert (h/t Caleb Pressley of Young & Happy of Barstool Sports) that everyone should look to Jon Gruden being the next hot commodity in the NFL. AND THEN THERES COLLEGE. This man can give Saban And Urban Meyer a run for their money with 2 years of control of his own team. Throw him down there in FAU and bump Lane to his assistant. Maybe its bound to end like his tenure at Bama but maybe, just maybe, they unite to form the ultimate coaching duo and go on to lead FAU to multiple national championships and being the recruiting powerhouse they could be. Maybe a trip back to the rising Oakland Raiders? I can only hope. Who knows?I sure as hell dont but im just ready for the future. -( . )

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Is Google racist? The answer is yes.

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As any good American does, I was taking my lack of knowledge to Google to see if I could find the female comedian that I couldn’t put a name to. I knew she was white so as any good googler would do I started with a simple search for “white female comedians”. Imagine the fucking awe I experienced when I was only returned with 2 names in the quick search thingy (shown above). Ellen DeGeneres and fucking Laraine Newman. Only 2 white, female comedians in the world according to the globe’s leading search engine. Now with me being curious like a cat ( I have a couple of friends that call me whiskers; h/t Harry Caray) I obviously had to check the other side of the spectrum and google “black female comedians”. Take a guess how many it showed me in the top bar. Go ahead, I’ll wait………………over 25 women fucking showed up… don’t believe me just watch.

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How is that possible?! I can think of more white comedians than the ones they have listed and I’ve never even seen some of the people they have listed as African American comedians. Maybe Google is out here trying to compensate to show they aren’t racist towards African Americans but damn, you could at least update the white females page from fucking 2005. Like not even Amy Schumer is on there? She’s THE white female comedian right now and she doesn’t even get a mention? That is some BULLSHIT. Get your shit together Google. I ended up finding who I was looking for (it was Natasha Leggero) but I had to actually go into the first webpage, wasting my expensive fucking data and my precious time, when she could have appeared in the top 30 quick results. Julia-Louis Dreyfus, Anna Chlumsky, Lena Dunham, Samantha Bee, Ilana Glazer, Amy Poehler, Kristen Schaal, Ellie Kemper, NOT EVEN FUCKING SARAH SILVERMAN. Simply no excuse for this multi-billion dollar company to turn a blind eye to some of their algorithms or whatever the fuck kind of sorcery powers these things. I demand justice for those white female comedians that are robbed of the opportunity to tell everyone that the Google lords deem them white female comedians. If not met with swift and appropriate corrections there will be an uprising, I can already see it forming with the way America reacts and protests. Unlike most other protests though, you can catch me leading the charge with my “Fuck Google, Where’s Lougle?” signs in hand. -( . )

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