An alarm clock stuck in wall for 13 years would make me lose my fucking mind

Source– PITTSBURGH — Every day. The alarm clock stuck inside the wall continues to ring. Since September 2004, an alarm clock hidden inside the wall of a home near Pittsburgh goes off every evening.

But why? Well, the homeowner has himself to blame.

Jerry Lynn told KDKA he tied the clock to a string, set it to go off 10 minutes later and lowered it down an air vent to help him find the spot to drill for a television wire. Soon after he lowered the clock, the string broke and the clock fell inside the wall.

“I thought, well, that’s not a real problem,” Lynn told KDKA. “You know it’s still going to go off. And it did.” During daylight saving time, the clock goes off every day at 7:50 p.m. ET (6:50 p.m. ET during standard time).

Before I go off on this dude, I will say that he figured out one pretty ingenious way to a mark a hole. Dropping an alarm down and listening for the sound may seem dumb as fuck but to someone with excellent hearing like this guy it probably worked like a charm and he was able to pinpoint where to drill…. until the absolute unexpected happened and the string broke, stranding that poor alarm clock behind the wall. Now maybe for the first few times, it goes off it’s like alright maybe itll die soon and you ignore it. BUT AFTER 13 YEARS, with that thing fucking ringing in the wall at 7:50 pm EVERY NIGHT I’m either busting that wall down with my bare fists or I’m moving a minimum 3 square miles away. It’s not like this thing is going off in the middle of the day when your out of your house, it’s at 7:50 PM EVERY NIGHT. Finishing up some jeopardy or news or whatever the fuck this type of person watches every night and then hearing…BEEEP… BEEEP… BEEEP…or maybe even worse its one of those that goes BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. And how the fuck does it get turned off?! does it just stop after a certain amount of time? I would have no idea cause I am not psychotic enough to let my alarm go past 30 seconds without having a small freakout but this guy must just wait for it every night at this point. Like a cold beer after work or a good fuck on an anniversary, this guy waits for 7:49 PM every day just say he can sit up against the wall waiting for those BEEPS to come in right on time. -( . )

PS. The real astonishment comes when you think about the fucking batteries. What does he have standard Duracells in there? If these things are lasting for 13 years let me be the first to cop a 24 pack of these mufss. Lemme know man.

Is Google racist? The answer is yes.

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As any good American does, I was taking my lack of knowledge to Google to see if I could find the female comedian that I couldn’t put a name to. I knew she was white so as any good googler would do I started with a simple search for “white female comedians”. Imagine the fucking awe I experienced when I was only returned with 2 names in the quick search thingy (shown above). Ellen DeGeneres and fucking Laraine Newman. Only 2 white, female comedians in the world according to the globe’s leading search engine. Now with me being curious like a cat ( I have a couple of friends that call me whiskers; h/t Harry Caray) I obviously had to check the other side of the spectrum and google “black female comedians”. Take a guess how many it showed me in the top bar. Go ahead, I’ll wait………………over 25 women fucking showed up… don’t believe me just watch.

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How is that possible?! I can think of more white comedians than the ones they have listed and I’ve never even seen some of the people they have listed as African American comedians. Maybe Google is out here trying to compensate to show they aren’t racist towards African Americans but damn, you could at least update the white females page from fucking 2005. Like not even Amy Schumer is on there? She’s THE white female comedian right now and she doesn’t even get a mention? That is some BULLSHIT. Get your shit together Google. I ended up finding who I was looking for (it was Natasha Leggero) but I had to actually go into the first webpage, wasting my expensive fucking data and my precious time, when she could have appeared in the top 30 quick results. Julia-Louis Dreyfus, Anna Chlumsky, Lena Dunham, Samantha Bee, Ilana Glazer, Amy Poehler, Kristen Schaal, Ellie Kemper, NOT EVEN FUCKING SARAH SILVERMAN. Simply no excuse for this multi-billion dollar company to turn a blind eye to some of their algorithms or whatever the fuck kind of sorcery powers these things. I demand justice for those white female comedians that are robbed of the opportunity to tell everyone that the Google lords deem them white female comedians. If not met with swift and appropriate corrections there will be an uprising, I can already see it forming with the way America reacts and protests. Unlike most other protests though, you can catch me leading the charge with my “Fuck Google, Where’s Lougle?” signs in hand. -( . )

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