Is Google racist? The answer is yes.

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As any good American does, I was taking my lack of knowledge to Google to see if I could find the female comedian that I couldn’t put a name to. I knew she was white so as any good googler would do I started with a simple search for “white female comedians”. Imagine the fucking awe I experienced when I was only returned with 2 names in the quick search thingy (shown above). Ellen DeGeneres and fucking Laraine Newman. Only 2 white, female comedians in the world according to the globe’s leading search engine. Now with me being curious like a cat ( I have a couple of friends that call me whiskers; h/t Harry Caray) I obviously had to check the other side of the spectrum and google “black female comedians”. Take a guess how many it showed me in the top bar. Go ahead, I’ll wait………………over 25 women fucking showed up… don’t believe me just watch.

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How is that possible?! I can think of more white comedians than the ones they have listed and I’ve never even seen some of the people they have listed as African American comedians. Maybe Google is out here trying to compensate to show they aren’t racist towards African Americans but damn, you could at least update the white females page from fucking 2005. Like not even Amy Schumer is on there? She’s THE white female comedian right now and she doesn’t even get a mention? That is some BULLSHIT. Get your shit together Google. I ended up finding who I was looking for (it was Natasha Leggero) but I had to actually go into the first webpage, wasting my expensive fucking data and my precious time, when she could have appeared in the top 30 quick results. Julia-Louis Dreyfus, Anna Chlumsky, Lena Dunham, Samantha Bee, Ilana Glazer, Amy Poehler, Kristen Schaal, Ellie Kemper, NOT EVEN FUCKING SARAH SILVERMAN. Simply no excuse for this multi-billion dollar company to turn a blind eye to some of their algorithms or whatever the fuck kind of sorcery powers these things. I demand justice for those white female comedians that are robbed of the opportunity to tell everyone that the Google lords deem them white female comedians. If not met with swift and appropriate corrections there will be an uprising, I can already see it forming with the way America reacts and protests. Unlike most other protests though, you can catch me leading the charge with my “Fuck Google, Where’s Lougle?” signs in hand. -( . )

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Man’s man doing man’s work in defiance of mother nature

SourceA breathtaking photo captured a Canadian man casually mowing his lawn as a massive tornado whirled around in the distance.

Cecilia Wessels said she was at her home in Three Hills, Alberts, on Friday when she snapped the now-viral photo of her determined husband.

“The tornado was about 2km (1.24 miles) from us moving eastwards. There was very little wind at our back yard and not even rain. It was just very hot,” she told HuffPost on Sunday by email. “It was a shocker to see something like this but my husband was calm, the whole street was out taking pictures and well, staying calm was the thing to do.”  

Wessels told Edmonton station Sonic 102.9 that she was taking a nap when the storm started blowing in, causing her 9-year-old daughter to panic.

“She says, ‘Mommy, mommy, please wake up. There’s a thing in the sky, it looks like a tornado, and Daddy doesn’t want to come inside,’” she recalled. “We said to him, ‘Are you coming inside?’ And he’s like, ‘No, the wind turned. We’re fine!’”

Her husband, identified as Theunis Wessels, repeated this carefree attitude to the Canadian Press: “I was keeping an eye on it.”

“It looks much closer if you look in the photo, but it was really far away. Well, not really far, far away, but it was far away from us,” he added.

We have all been there. You got something to do and by golly, you’re gonna get it done! This man is no different. I’m sure he planned on doing his lawn all week and there is no way some stupid fuckin tornado is gonna prevent that from happening. This is a man’s man doing some yard work and going in for a beer after, only this time there happened to be a spinning death trap of wind a few kilometers away. Nevermind the fact that his 9-year-old daughter was begging him to get inside so she wouldn’t have to live with the image of him getting sucked away, he had his eye on it. That is a man of experience and a man I would trust to keep me safe in time of tornados. Let’s not forget that this is Canada we are talking about here. I’m sure their tornados are just as nice as their people. If it were to get too close just give it a quick, “Hey guy, would ya mind spinning somewhere else, eh?” Love it. Calm, cool, collected. Get this man the tallest beer in the house. -( . )